What are you thinking about?

Notice the pile of clothes behind us on the left and the cluttered nightstand on the right.

What is going on in that head of yours? What are you looking at when you are watching out the window while we drive in the car? What do you think about when you are tucked in bed, waiting to fall asleep? While you are staring out the front door, what do you see?

Do you wish I would spend more time laughing with you? Should I have asked you more questions about your day? Did I ask you too many?

Do you think about what you want to do when you grow up? Do you wonder what it will be like when you finally start to walk? What do you think you will do with the freedom when you are off on your own, walking, talking and making decisions without me?

When we don’t connect and you can’t communicate with me, what are you trying to say? How do you feel when I get it wrong and instead of giving you what you would prefer, I give you what I think you need? Do you feel alone?

When I ask you to wait, do you think it is unfair? Have you waited more than the others? Do I give you enough of my time to make you feel special? Do you think I should say yes more times than I say no?

Do you think about me when you are at school? Do you tell your friends about things we do at home? Do you have friends? Are you lonely? Is it easy for you to make friends or is it hard?

Do you get excited when I come home from the store? Do you notice if I leave without telling you bye or if I get home after you’ve gone to bed? Can you see how tired I am and do you think that it is your fault?

How long do you think about how I lost my temper earlier in the day when you wouldn’t brush your teeth? Do you think more about the books we read together or the amount of times that I put you in timeout today?

When I say I’m sorry do you learn from my mistakes? Do I give you enough kisses every day? Do you get tired of me telling you to be careful?

Do you feel how proud of you I am when you do anything? Am I giving you enough room to be who you are? Do you try to be who you think will make me happy? Are you performing already?

Do you feel safe? You do know that you can always come to me, right? How do I make you see that asking for help is brave and taking it all in on your own is often not? Do you know how much I love you and how nothing could ever change that?

One Comment Add yours

  1. Debra Pool says:

    Heathet, I love your writings. Thank you for sharing. This one hits home and is funny because I STILL have all these questions running in my head when I’m with my grown boys (now men). Even though they are able to communicate these things, I get complaints of asking too many questions. So I try to not ask, I try to trust my instincts and I try to feel confident in my past and current parenting skills. It’s hard. And I don’t see that it’s getting any easier. It must be just part of being a Mom (or parent). Love to you all.


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